Friday, 22 January 2010

I Swear...

Accusations of Tourettes have been flying around this blog of late. I try to limit my expletives to the occasional bloody, due to the knowledge that parents may be reading, however Coldplay made me utter the C word, as Kev pointed out, twice.

Here is a little snippet from

The Super Furry Animals 1996 hit "The Man Don't Give A..." contained 49 expletives; a record for a Top 40 single. The most for a solo hit is 33 in Eamon's 2004 track "F**k It (I Don't Want You Back)." This single also holds the record for most expletives in a chart-topper. The 'award' for most profanities in a hit by a female artist goes to Frankee whose 2004 number 1 "F.U.R.B. (F U Right Back)" (an answer song to Eamon's) contained 22 swear words.

Swearing. Swearing on record, the first time I heard actual swearing wasn’t on any punk single, I quite frankly didn’t know what frigging was, even if there was fuck all else to do, I heard swearing on record rather late in life, in my mid teens I heard Billy Idol effing and blinding on the b-side to Rebel Yell, Do Not Stand In The Shadows. I felt like a rebel listening to it.

Do Not Stand In The Shadows by Billy Idol

The previously referred The Man Don’t Give A Fuck, really does go all out in the swear stakes, ridiculously catchy and if memory serves me, which it rarely does, initially released as a limited edition, available for a week then deleted. The cover feature Cardiff player Robin Friday, Friday truly did not give a fuck, as perhaps this quote off his Wikipedia page testifies.

“Whilst playing against Mark Lawrenson for Cardiff against Brighton on the 31 October 1977, Friday became agitated by the future BBC pundit. He kicked Lawrenson in the face and received a red card before defecating in Lawrenson's kit bag”.

The Man Don’t Give A Fuck by Super Furry Animals

Lets not dwell on football though, back to the swearing. Some years ago I had the misfortune of seeing the band Minty in concert, when the balding mechanic off of the Eastenders didn’t take the stage and a bunch of that London art rockers did, I knew then it was going to get messy. Minty went on to be one of my wife’s favourite bands and during their career they produced a fiercely sweary track in Useless Man. The balding mechanic off of the Eastenders didn’t.
Useless Man unless I did a compilation for you between 96 and 2001 (it had a long shelf life) you are unlikely to have heard it, it really does set a new standard in recorded swearery, The Beatles may have exclaimed bloody! On I Am The Walrus, but that’s Sunday School compared to this.

“Boot lickin, piss drinkin, fingerfriggin, tit tweakin,
love bitin, arse lickin, shit stabbin, mother fuckin,
spunk lovin, ball bustin, cock suckin, fist fuckin,
lipsmackin, thirst quenchin, cool livin, ever givin

What can I say, although sweary it did have a good beat.

Useless Man by Minty

These days though its common place to have the odd expletive in a song, you can spot them a mile off, the ever faithful bleep has been dispensed with, they just dip the sound or a radio edit loops a different word.

Glee, the current invader of the pop charts look to chart this week with Kanye West’s Gold Digger, a great song, truly magnificent and loved universally in our house, some say for its take on Ray Charles, some say its for his fly lyrics, but on the whole its because we love the swearing.

Gold Digger by Kanye West

“If you fuckin' with this girl then you betta' be paid
You know why
Take too much to touch her
From what I heard she got a baby by Busta
My best friend say she used to fuck with Usher
I don't care what none of y'all say I still love her”

Wisely the Fox produced serial Glee chose not to go into the girls dalliances wit’ Usher and Buster, sorry Busta.

Gold Digger by Glee Cast

Mary Prankster, Baltimore singer and songwriter now retired from performing and living in New York could and has shown the big boys how to do it. Too numerous to list all her potty mouth moments, such as Tits and Whiskey (“fuck the rhythm and lets break out the tits and whiskey cos that shows we’re anarchists”) Piss Off, Mercyfuck, you get the idea of that.
Tits and Whiskey is perhaps the only song in existence that rhymes Fuck Me with Rubber Ducky.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me
I am Ernie’s rubber ducky
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
Let’s break out the tits and whiskey”

Mercyfuck by Mary Prankster

2 Live Crew, NWA, Eminem, I suspect even Vanilla Ice dropped the F-Bomb when the need presented itself, from Gwen Stefani telling us this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s, to Lennon telling us we are all fucking crazy as far as he could see. From bands such as Fuck, The Shits and Anal Cunt, Swearing, big AND clever.

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