One Man Band

As the blurb says, ''This blog is a collaboration between Peter D and Kevin T .........'' although lately it is only Peter who has been keeping his end up. A combination of factors have combined to keep me away from our beloved blog, and it's Peter, liberally sprinkling ten out of tens to Johnny Cash, who is marching on with his alphabetical trawl through his entire CD collection. I do sometimes fear for his sanity, although he appears to have the stamina of a pack horse, musically speaking of course.

Peter's comments on the Rage Against the Machine v some little lad who can hold a tune and won a talent contest on the telly, for Christmas number one, makes interesting reading. I would have trouble explaining this anti - X Factor Britain's got Idol Celebrity Squares response to people here in Chile, as firstly I don't know the Spanish for 'Rage', and secondly nobody buys singles. Personally, I would like to see RATM at number one in the UK for Christmas. I think that would be splendid. They are rich, and are shouty, which often is not a great combination (small, shouty and rich would be a worse combination, or possibly small, shouty, rich and French would be really bad), although they do seem to back up their beliefs with action, particularly de la Rocha and his involvement with the EZLN in Mexico. I know this might upset Peter on Christmas day, possibly even causing him some mild heartburn, or a shaky hand for his 10am sherry, but Simon Cowell represents to me something far more evil than the hijacking of the nonsense of the UK top 40 - namely, how can you get so rich and famous by being mean?

It sounds like a simpleton statement, and don't get me wrong as there is always a place for mean, but Cowell has polished the meanness, dishes it out tactlessly, and cannot walk the talk. Of course, there are great football managers who never kicked a ball, military strategists who don't know one end of a rifle from the other, and so on. But Cowell is not in the same category as a tactical genius. He may well give a platform to people who deserve a chance at success, but he has institutionalised being nasty and turned it into acceptable TV viewing, as well as going on to often stifle the artists he seemingly champions. Someone in his position won't be bothered by an internet campaign to stifle his latest million making plaything, but 'Fuck you I won't do what you tell me' would be a healthy response to his dumbing down of talent and over-simplistic approach to people expressing themselves through music.

Which side Are You On?

The X Factor has finished with professional cherubic Geordie, Joe McEldrey reaping the spoils. His rendition of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing may have been the deciding factor, or the fact that every judge praised him over all others for the past 12 weeks. He was technically very good though, he performed songs like they should be performed on a West End Stage and he did seem a rather pleasant young man, even with his head constantly cocked to one side. It is all done now and at least I no longer have to listen to other professional Geordie, Cheryl Cole saying week in, week out, “You’re a right little popstar”.

There is an internet campaign (they are always internet campaigns aren’t they, never proper marching campaigns trying to save whales or disarm the nuclears) at the moment hoping to rain on X Factor Uber Fuhrer, Simon Cowells parade and install shouty rich kids Rage Against The Machine as number one. Cowell took time off from planning his triumphant move into Poland to issue a statement “Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.” He went on to say that he thought that a group of spotty kids dicking about on Facebook was a bit nasty and it was the Geordie wonderkids god given right to install himself at the number one spot over the festive period with a Hannah Montana cover. Cowell then muttered something about the final solution before fielding calls from people that had performing dogs.

I kind of lie somewhere in the Cowell camp, I don’t feel it is McEldreys god given right, but I do take the charts for what they are, a measure of the popular, the fluffy, the light entertainment. I am not who they are aimed at, even if I do find N-Dubz utterly charming.

The charts are and really have always been about the listening publics liking of the shortlived, the burst of pop that for 3 minutes is the best in their world. If it is Mr Blobby or The Spice Girls, or Chipmunk or even Joe McEldrey, then so be it, its three minutes nothing more. I want my charts to be full of this guff, I like the fact that I don’t know every single single in the charts. I like the fact that it isn’t aimed with me and I can watch harmless inoffensive fluff on Christmas Day, I like it more if it involves females dancers dressed inappropriately for December chilliness. I really do not want Zack De La Rocha disturbing my third Sheridans as I settle down to watch some faceless northerner on Top Of The Pops.



Killing In The Name Of by Rage Against The Machine

Early figures indicate that the internet campaign to get Killing In The Name Of to the Christmas top spot may actually be working. The only problem with this and part of the reason I am on the pro Joe camp, is, well, it’s not a very good song. Maybe I am too close to 40 and too close to being middle class to not be effected by its “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” battle cry, may be if it was “sit down and have a nice cup of tea” it may have me rushing to my local online MP3 seller to upset the musical apple cart. As it is Tom Morello and Sideshow Bob’s revolution is best consigned to the bedrooms of 13 year old boys who believe themselves to be so utterly reactionary, as I was when I first heard Do Not Stand In The Shadows by Billy Idol, he said the F word, TWICE!!!

So I say let Joe have his time in the sun, let that awful song be trotted out between bands at festivals and let Syco’s glorious leader have enough money to fund his search for the next Susan Boyle.



Not Killing In The Name Of by Rage Against The Machine