We Don't Need No Education

This sent in by our Edukashun Correspondent - Neil K

What is it with song writers and use of proper English? Alright, so Pink Floyd's example from the blog title was obviously done on purpose, but there are some really horrendous examples of bad grammar that just jump out and scream at you when you first hear them, and on every God damn listen since. Obviously, no one can spell anymore (Sk8ter Boi, Slave 4 U) – but that is different as it goes unnoticed when you hear the song. Having jolting grammar in sentences however, can really ruin an otherwise good song (or make a turd even more steaming). Or maybe it’s just me? (maybe it is just you Mr K!).

Sometimes it’s obviously been done to help make a rhyming couplet – but really – that’s no excuse. If you can’t make it fit, don’t force it with a sledgehammer and assume people won’t notice. Think of a different couplet!! Get out a Thesaurus. The #1 below is a recent one that led me to think of compiling a top 5. The Rolling Stones double negative on “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” is just outside the top 5 – so bring on the worst examples…

1. Sugarbabes - Get Sexy
“When I'm drivin' in my car, or I'm standin' at the bar,
  It don't matter where I are, they say "hey sexy!"”


 2. The Police - Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

“Every little thing she does is magic

 Everything she do just turns me on”

Especially bad when said lyricist was allegedly a teacher - not English I presume, eh, Sting? P.E. or woodwork most likely I’d wager.


3. Bryan Adams - Run to You

“She say's her love for me would never die

 But that'd change if she ever finds out about you and I”

Sorry, Bryan, but you and I both know that it’s supposed to be “you and me”. And don’t pretend you’re French Canadian so it’s not your first language…


4. Chemical Brothers & Noel Gallagher, “Let Forever Be”

“How does it feel like, to wake up in the sun.

 How does it feel like, to shine on everyone.
 How does it feel like, to let forever be.
 How does it feel like, to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter.”

Noel, Noel, Noel…how does it feel like, to piss on Blake and Keats? Or are you pretending and being ironic (in an Alanis Morrisette – not really ironic at all type of way)?


5. The Doors - Light My Fire
 
“If they say I never loved you, you know they are a liar.”

Poetic licence with the Queens English, Jim? Or were you trying out Bowies lyric writing technique of cutting up words from newspapers and picking words randomly out - only it came out scarily normal?

Exit Planet Dust

There are fewer things I dislike more than dance music made for white boys that that like bands that play guitars. I do, I really dislike them, The Prodigy, Pendulum etc. Very few things, well maybe Muse, Muse and dance music made for white boys that like bands that play guitars, well them and the storyline in Corrie that allows a grandfather to abduct a child and have custody based on chuff all. That and the Daily Mail. Mostly the dance music thing though.
Todays commute CD, the last C, the end of a relatively short journey through the third letter of the alphabet, the last C is The Chemical Brothers debut, Exit Planet Dust.
Exit Planet Dust refers to their original moniker The Dust Brothers, a tribute to the US production duo of the same name. EZ Mike and King Gizmo, responsible for the production of the greatest and best album ever committed to digital media, the self titled debut Tenascious D.
This isn't EZ Mike and King Gizmo, this is the post lawsuit threatening Lank Ginger and Dull Bloke, The Chemical Brothers, purveyors of the finest dance music made for white boys that like bands that play guitars.
I listened to it once on the way in, in the spring sunshine, rolling through the Staffordshire A roads, it wore heavy on me, it wore very heavy on me, its repetitive beats, essentially lyricless, it was just that little bit out of step with how I was feeling.
Roll on to the afternoon journey home and I decide to give the motorway ago, my mood was bouyant and I was a little more awake. Crank up my tinny car strereo up to 11 and by crikey its a good album, its definitely a mood album and the mood was served hugely by it, from the one that says "brothers gonna work it out" you know, Leave Home, that one. Through to Song to the siren, the Dead Can Dance sampling track, up through to the rather splendid One Too Many Mornings, the Tim Burgess featuring Life Is Sweet and finally ending with the gorgeous voice of Beth Orton on Alive Alone.
Really a splendid album in the right mood, in the wrong mood it is background music to me swearing at BMW drivers. So on the way to work 1 out of 10, on the way home, 8 out of 10, lets call it an 8.




One Too Many Mornings by The Chemical Brothers