We Don't Need No Education

This sent in by our Edukashun Correspondent - Neil K

What is it with song writers and use of proper English? Alright, so Pink Floyd's example from the blog title was obviously done on purpose, but there are some really horrendous examples of bad grammar that just jump out and scream at you when you first hear them, and on every God damn listen since. Obviously, no one can spell anymore (Sk8ter Boi, Slave 4 U) – but that is different as it goes unnoticed when you hear the song. Having jolting grammar in sentences however, can really ruin an otherwise good song (or make a turd even more steaming). Or maybe it’s just me? (maybe it is just you Mr K!).

Sometimes it’s obviously been done to help make a rhyming couplet – but really – that’s no excuse. If you can’t make it fit, don’t force it with a sledgehammer and assume people won’t notice. Think of a different couplet!! Get out a Thesaurus. The #1 below is a recent one that led me to think of compiling a top 5. The Rolling Stones double negative on “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” is just outside the top 5 – so bring on the worst examples…

1. Sugarbabes - Get Sexy
“When I'm drivin' in my car, or I'm standin' at the bar,
  It don't matter where I are, they say "hey sexy!"”


 2. The Police - Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

“Every little thing she does is magic

 Everything she do just turns me on”

Especially bad when said lyricist was allegedly a teacher - not English I presume, eh, Sting? P.E. or woodwork most likely I’d wager.


3. Bryan Adams - Run to You

“She say's her love for me would never die

 But that'd change if she ever finds out about you and I”

Sorry, Bryan, but you and I both know that it’s supposed to be “you and me”. And don’t pretend you’re French Canadian so it’s not your first language…


4. Chemical Brothers & Noel Gallagher, “Let Forever Be”

“How does it feel like, to wake up in the sun.

 How does it feel like, to shine on everyone.
 How does it feel like, to let forever be.
 How does it feel like, to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter.”

Noel, Noel, Noel…how does it feel like, to piss on Blake and Keats? Or are you pretending and being ironic (in an Alanis Morrisette – not really ironic at all type of way)?


5. The Doors - Light My Fire
 
“If they say I never loved you, you know they are a liar.”

Poetic licence with the Queens English, Jim? Or were you trying out Bowies lyric writing technique of cutting up words from newspapers and picking words randomly out - only it came out scarily normal?